What does a fresh start look like?

a shamanic journeying meditation

NOTE: I keep saying I’ll write about Elephant. I still don’t know how to do that yet. I don’t know why. I think because shamanic journeying is a sacred thing that I’m not equipped to write about. Ross and I studied with a shaman named Denise for a while and it was profound for me. I met Elephant - my spirit guide - and I continue to ask her questions. But I don’t want to pretend I have a skill or a gift or any special understanding of shamanism or journeying. I don’t. No discipline. No regular practice. Just a girl trying to learn how to use a comforting spiritual tool.

This morning I tried to "listen”, but there was some static. I couldn’t go quiet and I felt the imposition of my racing mind. Maybe I’ll try to revisit that another time.

But this meditation, an old one, feels right for today. Maybe I’ve already posted this at some point, I can’t remember, but I think it’s worth revisiting.

What does a fresh start look like?

A fresh start can begin anywhere, but it begins with listening to your heart.

It begins with an intention. Your intention is a spark that can be ignited with the smallest action.  A word or a breath is enough to set it into motion and begin something new. It generally requires some courage and conviction.

But you are overthinking it. Fresh starts are all around. Each day, any conversation offers new opportunity. A walk with an elephant.

Much of your trying and trying… your thinking and worrying… can set you on a feedback loop to nowhere. These things are the old habits that you need to see and forgive and shed.

You first need to unburden yourself of the heaviness in your heart. It makes you hopeless and sedentary. It dampens your spark.

Walk. Get things moving. Just move. Show up. Leave the house. Smile. Go to the park. Each small action can lead you somewhere new and open up possibility. Read a book. Do just about anything you haven’t done in a while. The thought occurs to you almost every day, but you let it pass. The fresh start is grasping onto one of the thousands of opportunities that are presented to you every single day.

You would like for things to be clean and articulate. Pristine. Perfect. But some of your journey will be slogging through mud and walking through tall grass. It’s beauty you can’t always see. There’s grace that you are yet unaware of. There is perfection in the stumbling and slowness. There is meaning in the struggle and the suffering.

Maybe let go of the idea of a fresh start. You don’t need to start over and leave everything behind as though you have been wasting your time. You have been lethargic. You have been depressed. You have been uncomfortable and lonely. But this is part of your growth. It is necessary for you to feel these things so that you can evolve into the person who you will be one day. And it is less about doing than you think. BEING is the key. You will have to learn this on your own and in your own way. You will keep trying and trying until you learn that your strife is in your way. You will need to learn to lean and let yourself be loved. You will have to let people walk their own paths.

Start by breathing and giving yourself space. You don’t want to feel all the things. You’re avoiding a bit. It’s ok. Things will happen as they need to.

Give yourself time. There’s more.

There’s more.

Sending you love and healing in 2024.