Nov 4, 2022·edited Nov 4, 2022Liked by Ann Tomoko Rosen
Thank you, Ann. This paragraph, you wrote, may be the single best insight anyone has shared about the Oster essay: "It’s not that I won’t forgive. I am pro-forgiveness. I agree that it will only hurt us to hold onto anger over past injustices. But you can’t mandate forgiveness. It is OURS to give and we can’t let this latest attempt to “greater good” our individual values succeed. Amnesty sounds a lot like the government setting the terms of forgiveness and it lacks all of the critical elements that would lead to anything heartfelt and healing."
Thank you, Barry. That means so much coming from you. It's such an odd feeling... this resistance to forgiveness. I really had to unpack this discomfort for myself. It really feels like they've grabbed us by our best intentions and are using them to hold us captive.
Thank you for this. I really love your writing and it is generally just what to see!
A while back, during a particularly difficult time, I asked a question in my journeying meditation, “am I losing my mind?” The response that immediately came was “you are not losing your mind, you are chasing it.” I was instructed instead to lead with my heart. It often strikes me how similar you are to my spirit guide. Grateful for you.
They want to skip the apology and go straight to forgiveness? No it doesn’t work that way! I will never forget what my family members and friends have done to me. I was disowned and unfriended by mostly all of them. They called me a selfish pig and a right wing, science denying conspiracy theorist, because I wouldn’t get vaccinated. They said you are no longer welcome to any family functions, holidays, graduations, birthdays, weddings etc. Things between them and I will never be the same. They drew the line in the sand not me! The least they can do is offer a heartfelt apology, but their false sense of pride won’t allow them to. At any rate, my life goes on with or without them...
Oh, Victor. I'm so sorry you experienced this. You are certainly not alone, but all of this was designed to make you feel that way (so you would put your head down and do as you're told). My wish for you is that you will be "friended" and cherished by a new community. I agree, there should be some apology. There should be some acknowledgment of the wrongs that were done... and some reassurance that nothing like this will happen again.
I appreciate that Ann! I found my tribe here on substack and with some of my coworkers who are going through the same sort of thing. All my best ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, Ann. This paragraph, you wrote, may be the single best insight anyone has shared about the Oster essay: "It’s not that I won’t forgive. I am pro-forgiveness. I agree that it will only hurt us to hold onto anger over past injustices. But you can’t mandate forgiveness. It is OURS to give and we can’t let this latest attempt to “greater good” our individual values succeed. Amnesty sounds a lot like the government setting the terms of forgiveness and it lacks all of the critical elements that would lead to anything heartfelt and healing."
Thank you, Barry. That means so much coming from you. It's such an odd feeling... this resistance to forgiveness. I really had to unpack this discomfort for myself. It really feels like they've grabbed us by our best intentions and are using them to hold us captive.
It's important that we decouple forgiveness from any particular one size fits all action. We don't know ahead of time what a forgiving mindset will look like for us. I plan on tackling the issue in light of the Oster essay. I've written many essays on forgiveness. Here are two: https://intellectualtakeout.org/2019/07/what-holocaust-survivor-eva-kor-taught-about-forgiveness/; https://fee.org/articles/why-you-are-not-entitled-to-your-bitterness/
Thank you for this. I really love your writing and it is generally just what to see!
A while back, during a particularly difficult time, I asked a question in my journeying meditation, “am I losing my mind?” The response that immediately came was “you are not losing your mind, you are chasing it.” I was instructed instead to lead with my heart. It often strikes me how similar you are to my spirit guide. Grateful for you.
I'm honored by your comments, Ann! Thank you.
I was going to say exactly the same thing. Forgiveness is within the gift of the injured not the cruel bully.
They want to skip the apology and go straight to forgiveness? No it doesn’t work that way! I will never forget what my family members and friends have done to me. I was disowned and unfriended by mostly all of them. They called me a selfish pig and a right wing, science denying conspiracy theorist, because I wouldn’t get vaccinated. They said you are no longer welcome to any family functions, holidays, graduations, birthdays, weddings etc. Things between them and I will never be the same. They drew the line in the sand not me! The least they can do is offer a heartfelt apology, but their false sense of pride won’t allow them to. At any rate, my life goes on with or without them...
Oh, Victor. I'm so sorry you experienced this. You are certainly not alone, but all of this was designed to make you feel that way (so you would put your head down and do as you're told). My wish for you is that you will be "friended" and cherished by a new community. I agree, there should be some apology. There should be some acknowledgment of the wrongs that were done... and some reassurance that nothing like this will happen again.
I appreciate that Ann! I found my tribe here on substack and with some of my coworkers who are going through the same sort of thing. All my best ❤️❤️❤️
They're STILL recommending avoiding the unvaccinated... https://twitter.com/hugh_mankind/status/1592231901280239616
https://twitter.com/Togetherdec/status/1592126641098162177
Here's an entertaining take... https://twitter.com/kelly4freedom/status/1588543680851607553?s=20&t=M23QacYKsMxY7YZx-9JdCQ